Harry Styles is Engaged, Let's Revisit His (worst) Love Songs

One of the biggest names in music, formerly known for being an elusive hard-to-pin-down heartbreaker, has committed to, arguably, the most magnetic woman of our time. Harry Styles and Zoë Kravitz are engaged, and even though I have a Google alert on both their names and have been poring over the coverage, I still don't have answers to my most basic questions. Like who proposed to whom? Where? What time? How can I do the star chart for this historic moment without these details? What music was playing, not even that??

The Mainstream Media, with its infinite connections, could do better.

In honour of the momentous occasion, let's talk about Harry Styles discography through the years. Specifically his love songs.

Love Of My Life

This is so romantic and tragic and such an indie rom-dram credits song. The simple, low-key production showcases his vocals beautifully and I still have this on like all my late-night drive playlists. But as a love song, YIKES. Admitting you think you already found the love of your life explicitly on your third studio album? Embarassing. 5/10

Only Angel

Coming from Harry’s self-titled debut (which turns 10 next year, should we throw a party?), this track is allegedly about a Victoria's Secret angel called Kendall Jenner. I personally find it so predictable to write a song about a Victoria's Secret Angel and call it "Only Angel." We get it, Harry, you have a type. The vibe is very 70s stadium-glam, very Rolling Stones, which was essentially Harry's entire personality at the time. 3/10

As It Was

This track arrived right in the middle of the Don’t Worry Darling press tour - an era so messy it birthed the Case of Harry Styles Allegedly Spitting on Chris Pine. Which he obviously did not do. But also... did he? The song itself is about nothing in particular, which feels so appropriate for a man who was, at the time, perfecting his Transatlantic-Australian-Maybe-Midwestern accent. It's an addicting dance song and it gave us Harry's best hair day, so. 7/10

Adore You

This perfectly pleasant song is really impossible to critique; it's the Santal 26 soy candle of pop songs. We’re in the Fine Line era here, and Harry is literally walking a fish on a leash. Which brings me to my confession that the lyric I heard was "brown skin and lemon over rice," so for a couple of years I thought Harry Styles was eating his best friend with a side of rice and it really changed how I viewed him. Turns out it was ice, my bad.

Honestly, the hardest part was how much I love the chorus. It’s a love song about unconditional devotion, which is like my dream! But it’s the worst love song because it forced me to confront my own relationship with seafood and parasocial boundaries. I haven't looked at a grain of basmati the same way since. 5/10

Aperture

As far as I can tell, Harry Styles' most personal song is this - a pensive meditation on his relationship with photography. The aperture, of course, is the thing that lets the light in. Harry clearly gets that. The song is about light and focus, about the lens he sees life through. That some people interpret this as a song about finding the safety of love, or "opening up emotionally" through the uncertainty of unfamiliar feelings, is frankly diminishing. Harry Styles is an artist. He is thinking about cameras. 3/10

Bonus: Still The One

I went back into the One Direction archives for this one. Harry and his friends are singing about showing up at an ex-girlfriend's house after being explicitly told she's moved on. Like, "You say to everybody that you hate me", maybe give her some space then?

I was stupid for letting you go, so now I’m making it your problem! Also, the line "I keep talking, begging, tell me what I wanna hear" is such a red flag. A literal restraining order set to a jaunty beat. 10/10 for the hook, 0/10 for the lack of boundaries.

What about the best love songs? I thought about those too. Not for a long time, I have a reformer pilates class and a literal life, but I considered them.

"Coming Up Roses" is four minutes of Harry Styles being tender about something ending against the backdrop of plucky orchestra strings. And he's good at it! We really aligned on this one - it’s so me to love something specifically because it doesn't last. 13/10

"Paint By Numbers" - I thought this was going to be about, like, a cute DIY date night in a Greenwich Village studio? But then I actually listened and it’s about the impossible task of living inside an image other people built for you. When he sings "Was it a tragedy when you told her / I'm not even 33?" I can just feel my capacity for empathy, because the fans are saying it’s a tribute to Liam, who died in 2024 at 31, and oh my god, my heart is a literal puddle. It’s the best love song because it’s not just about romantic love; it’s about that "we-shared-our-childhood" kind of love. It’s the only time Harry admits that being the most famous man on earth is actually kind of a nightmare. Very Aries to be this honest about your own myth-making. Harry isn't an Aries, but I am. 25/10

And "Falling", okay, this is the one. "What if I'm someone I don't want around?" I’ve said that to my reflection at 1 am while I'm taking off my eyeliner, and like, that is the most terrifying thought you can have when your whole brand is 'Self.' It’s the ultimate song for when you’re realising that your actions have, like, actual consequences. And that doesn't make it not a love song. Harry has shown us time and time again that love can't be truly experienced without loss, and sometimes crippling self-doubt. It’s the best because it’s so dramatic, and Harry really committed to the drama with all the symbolism of literally drowning. 100/10

In case you didn't realise, Zoë's extensive creative portfolio is worth exploring too. She starred in and executive-produced High Fidelity for Hulu, which was cancelled after one season because the Disney slate was not ready for good things. She co-wrote "Lavender Haze" with Taylor Swift. She played a fictionalised version of herself in The Studio and received her first Emmy nomination for it. Also, In 2024 she made her directorial debut with Blink Twice, a thriller she originally titled Pussy Island - have you seen it? If not, please give it a chance because it's so good. Naomi Ackie plays this status-obsessed service worker with a gift for impeccable nail art, and she meets this billionaire tech guy, Channing Tatum, who invites her to party on his private island, so she thinks jackpot but then the vibes turn really sinister and her friend Alia Shawkat is like "I think we should go home", but easier said than done, right? I mean this film is nightmare fuel, and I do think I have a responsibility to say some scenes are like really difficult to watch. If you don't have the stomach for that one, she was in the TV adaptation of Big Little Lies, which I've reread three times. So yeah, Zoë Kravitz has unbelievable vision. Harry Styles has music for a sushi restaurant. Both are doing fine.